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Writer's pictureJessica B

Your Spouse Can't Bear the Weight of Your Expectations

Wives,

Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Have I recently felt like my husband isn't doing enough?

  2. Do I believe that I do way more around the house than my husband?

  3. Does it seem like my husband doesn't spend enough time with me?

  4. Does it feel like my needs aren't being fulfilled by my husband?


If you answered any of these questions with "yes," please stick around.


Here's the dessert first:


Your husband cannot and will not ever fulfill the role of God in your life.

Women often feel like their husbands are not meeting their expectations in some way. In your mind, maybe he isn’t doing enough around the house, spending enough time with you, or reading your mind good enough. If this is you and your husband isn’t measuring up in your mind, you might consider evaluating your relationship with Jesus. The more critical you become of your husband’s performance as a husband, the closer you should draw near to Jesus.


Your husband is not God. He will never be God. So stop expecting your husband to fulfill (and even know) all your needs. There's only ONE who can do that - the One who created you and your husband. The One who knows every hair on your head. The One who knows all your hopes and dreams. The One who brought you two together.


If you relate to what I’m saying, then I encourage you to run to the Father. This song, "Lean Back," by Maverick City puts into words the love and fulfillment you're hoping for:

And I will lean back in the loving arms Of a beautiful Father (It's who You are, who You are) Breathe deep and know that He is good He's a love like no other I will lean back in the loving arms Of my beautiful Father (It's who You are, who You are) Breathe deep and know that He is good He's a love like no other
And now I can see Your love is better Than all the others that I've seen I'm breathing deep, of all Your goodness Your loving-kindness to me Now I can see Your love is better Than all the others that I've seen And I'm breathing deep, of all Your goodness Your loving-kindness to me Now I can see Your love is better Than all the others that I've seen I'm breathing deep, of all Your goodness Your loving-kindness to me.

Falling more in love with the Father will bring the fulfillment and peace that you seek from your husband. Let God fill your empty vessel and let your husband love on you as a vessel full of love and kindness. John 4:16-17 says, “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect....” Then in 19, it says “We love each other because he loved us first.” And what IS love? 1 Cortinthians 13: 4-7 explains that “love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no records of being wrong. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”


So if we abide in God’s love and He shows us real love, then we are able to love others the way God loves us.


If you have a legitimate issue that needs to be discussed, then go to your husband as a full vessel with respect and love to discuss the problem. Open the discussion with prayer and talk through your issues with God there at the table with you.


My husband is a mighty man of God, a compassionate, kind soul, and has character like gold. I love my husband with my entire heart and I think the whole world of him. He is the bees knees. Yet - he is human. He has a job - two jobs, he has friends, he has hopes, and he has his own agenda. He is his own person all on his own. If I live my life expecting him to fill my empty cup, then I will be drawing more from him than he can handle. He doesn't have two cups; he has one cup, just like I do. We are happiest when we run to the Father, get filled up, and share our full cups with one another.


So, if you identified with this post, then please take a minute (or 10) to lean back and let the Father love you. Reassess the situation and see how much your perspective changes. I am praying that as you draw nearer to God, you naturally draw nearer to your husband as well.



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