How to Pray for Your Spouse

In my post about 11 habits to strengthen your marriage I mentioned praying for your spouse as an important part of your day and relationship. I felt like this particular habit deserved its own post because of how important it is to the connection you two have with each other and with God. You might be at a loss as to how to pray for your spouse or even what to pray for. I'd like to encourage you to sit down with each other, pull out your notes app or journal, and ask each other these questions. Let these questions initiate your prayer conversation with God and see where else He wants to take you.

1. What are your hopes and dreams for the near future?

Hearing about what your spouse values and knowing what they are working towards can help you direct your actions and prayers. Drawing alongside your spouse to help him/her reach a goal and then celebrating that accomplishment is an invaluable way to bring the two of you closer together. I could never complete difficult tasks that lead to my dreams without the support, encouragement, and prayers from my husband. If I don't have him alongside me, then it's not an endeavor I'm likely to finish. When you strive for something together, it brings unity in the home.

2. What do you struggle with most? In what area do you need breakthrough?

If you know the things your spouse struggles with and you know his/her triggers, you can be there in prayer for breakthrough. I'm not saying you need to burden yourself with your spouse's problems, but I am saying you need to be aware of them and be offering up prayers to help them through the growing process. Sometimes things get really ugly before they get better, but progress isn't always nice and tidy. When I can tell my hubby is struggling with something, I either silently pray on his behalf or just start praying out loud. For some reason when I say, "Jesus, please..." everything becomes still. We've spent a lot of time in the living room together praying and talking through things that really bother us. I've experienced the most spiritual breakthrough with my husband on our couch.

3. How can I make you feel supported/ loved? Typically, men need to feel supported or respected and women need to feel loved. Not always, but usually. You might be surprised by your spouse's answer to this question and that's why it is important to ask. You definitely shouldn't become a slave to your spouse's expectations, but when you come alongside each other in love and mutual respect, this can be done without you feeling drained or bitter. For example, my hubby loves for me to go everywhere with him and I love gifts. So we blend the two and when I accompany him on trips, he stops and gets me coffee. It's a win-win. If your spouse's answer is not something you're interested in at all, pray about a compromise and work together towards something that can make you both happy.

I hope these tips help to bring you closer to your spouse as you fight together for something in prayer. Seeing your spouse through God's eyes and contending on his/her behalf can bring you a level of freedom and peace not only in your own life but also in your marriage.