Developing Patience and Love in the Classroom

When I stepped into my first classroom, I had no idea the challenges that awaited me. I was a 22 year old fresh college graduate with the responsibility of teaching math to high school students (just look at that baby face!!!). I mistakenly thought my passion for teaching and degree in mathematics was all I needed to transform my students into little math geniuses. I was so so wrong. Those two things were ABSOLUTELY foundational in being a good teacher and necessary to be successful in the classroom, but more than that, I needed patience, compassion, wisdom, and love.

I had a hard time nailing down my discipline style and balancing kindness and love with structure and high expectations. My training and some mentors were telling me to "tow the line," "set high expectations," and "demand obedience." My personality was telling me to loosen up, show love, and be a source of light for my students. It took me a long time to figure out how to maintain a structured learning environment with high standards while being flexible, forgiving, and loving to my students. To be honest, this is an ongoing learning experience for me that I see God shaping differently every semester depending on my students, but I'd love to share with you what I've learned so far.

1. Pray before every class.

Just like you prepare lessons for every class, prepare yourself in prayer also. Before your next class walks in or you walk into your next class, ask Jesus to guide you and show you how to be a better teacher. I always ask him to prepare my heart for the challenges/ victories and to show me creative ways to reach my students. I can usually tell a difference between the classes I pray before and the classes I don't. I feel so much more inspired, creative, patient, and less stressed when I walk into class prepared with prayer.

2. Realize that every student is a valuable human with real feelings and problems.

Put yourself in your student's position for a second and imagine dealing with the challenges they face. Think about how you felt when you were a student and how it would have affected your education to have a teacher be on your side, fighting for you. Listen to your students, learn about their lives, and do your best to relate to what they're experiencing. Something shifts in my attitude when I realize a student is missing class because his mom is fighting cancer. Or a student was late because the horses got out. Or a student is being rude because he had a fight with his dad right before class. A little empathy goes a long way when you are relating to the people living real lives in your classroom.

Even if a student is lying to you, you'll never regret giving a student as many chances as possible to succeed. Here's what I've learned about giving students second chances: I can repeatedly give additional learning opportunities but it is up to the student to accept what I'm offering. You can always offer and the student may not accept, but at least you offered. I felt more anxiety about NOT giving second chances and the what-ifs that follow than giving the second chance and possibly being told, "no thanks". At the end of the semester when I submit grades, I can confidently say I did EVERYTHING possible to help my students succeed.

3. Every student deserves an equal opportunity to learn and succeed but not every student has equal access to make that happen.

This illustration says it all. There are children standing up at a fence at a baseball game. Every child has the chance to be at the game, but the shorter kids can't see over the fence. How is it fair to give a one-size-fits-all education when we are not all one size? I'm not saying you should go against school policy or do anything unethical, but I am saying you should do your best to create equal access for all your students.

This can be done without singling students out when you think of creative ways to offer additional opportunities to the whole class, knowing you're really helping the one student that needs it the most. If I have a student request test corrections or a re-test, I'll offer it to the whole class even though I know I'm accommodating the one. What's the worst that can happen? You have other students improve their learning while you're helping the one who asked? Not a bad outcome. You might be thinking, "yeah, but that's just creating more work for me!" And sure, you're right but the reason we even have jobs is because of the students. You are there for the student, not yourself. You've obviously already succeeded...EXCELLED at school...why not help others do the same? YOU have the tools THEY need to be successful.

4. FLEXIBLY set high standards for your students.

You can be loving, kind, compassionate, and patient while also setting standards in your classroom. YOU decide where your boundaries are and draw a hard line for that boundary. Also realize that there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules. Thus, flexibly set high standards. Don't beat yourself up because you extended a due date to a student who was injured in a car accident when you specifically said, "NO LATE WORK." Set your standards and policies, tow the line, but also be okay to make exceptions when necessary. When a student is in the hospital and can't adhere to class policies, set new boundaries for that student for that specific time and resume the normal standards when the student comes back. As the boss in your classroom, you can do that!

Also, don't be pressured by what other teachers are doing. Other teachers might be more strict or more flexible and that's okay! You be you! Figure out where your comfort zones are and don't let anyone push past them unless necessary (or if an administrator says so. LOL!). I know lots of teachers that DO. NOT. ACCEPT. LATE. WORK!!!! I personally don't really care if it's late as long as the student turns it in. I'd rather the student have done it late than not at all (they do get a late penalty though). For me, that works. For you, it may not. And that's okay! You're the administrator of your own classroom and you have the choice of where to set those boundaries and when those boundaries need to be moved.

5. Last but not least, be a source of light and love for your students.

Let the source of light and love fill you up and then go dispense it to your students. Make class fun, exciting, and beneficial to every person in the room in more ways than just super great, engaging lessons. Let the lessons be awesome, but let your attitude guide the emotional atmosphere of the room. Don't let the frustration and negativity rule your life and your attitude. Choose joy daily and let God show you the good in everything. The easiest way to be attuned to God's attitude is to be in relationship with Him. Seek Him daily in your prayer time, daily devotionals, reading time, or worship time to be filled up with His love and to mirror His ways in your classroom. When you face those tough situations that you don't have an answer for, ask the One who knows it all and go where He's leading you. Allowing Him to make the big decisions takes a lot of the burden off of your shoulders.

These tips have brought me so much peace in my teaching journey. I am thankful that when I wanted to quit because it got so hard that God lovingly shaped and prepared me to try again. I taught high school math for 4 years when I quit to join my husband in ministry. I didn't think I ever wanted to teach again because of how emotionally difficult it was. For 3 years, God worked on my heart, changed my life outlook, and poured into me so that I was prepared when a local community college offered me a part-time job out of nowhere. It was after my first class there that I realized I was MADE for this. How sad it would have been to give up so early and never realize what God had for me in this field. I'm thankful for God's gentle guidance and my mentors gentle-ish pushing for me to to achieve my dream.

I have been teaching full-time at the very same college for 5, going on 6, years and I can undoubtedly say, "I LOVE MY JOB!" With a "yes" in your heart, you can go on to receive EVERYTHING God has for you. Say "yes" to the good risks. Say "yes" to being kind and loving. Say "yes" to being forgiving and patient. Say "yes" to WHATEVER God wants you to try.